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Saturday, June 16, 2012

Amazing what a good sleep can do. Magic sleep meds are working quite nicely. Upping the Prazosin has my dreamer completely shut down, so no more terrors in the night.

Lunesta doesn't leave me groggy when I wake up.

A couple days ago I worked through a panic attack/flashback at work, and was pretty pleased with how I handled it. I recognized it and controlled my response. Inside I was still a mess, but that's the nature of the beast. Deconstructing it with Deanna helped me understand where this latest dose of hell in my brain is coming from.

Last weekend I had a good long talk with a guy who's been dealing with this shit for decades. At first I was depressed. Decades. It means I'll never be normal. But then I looked at his life, and he's a caring, giving, and content person. He still deals with shit, but he has his life under control and it's a good life. So I'm encouraged.

Sometimes people are critical of me when I slam religion. I do it because I know what it's done to me, and what it has done and is doing to millions of others.


Rich Lyons


  1. I hope you can continue the podcast soon. Take your time. I think there are many who understand some of the things you are going through and you are an inspiration to us.


  2. Hey Rich,

    I haven't visited here in awhile and just read the last few posts. Sorry to read about the flare up of symptoms, but glad to read that (hopefully) symptoms are subsiding some and perspective is coming better in focus.

    Good thoughts toward you and yours. It may sound cliche...but hang in there.

    ~Carol (the former Way International follower and was once @1person over at Twitter)

    PS: And yes, I agree...sleep works wonders!

  3. We all miss you but we also understand. For those who are critical when you slam religion. Those people don't understand the damage that religion does to people.

    My mother is raising two nephews in a very religious environment. I Thought she is doing the best that she can do at 65. They go to a christian school. They have religion 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I always had a BAD feeling about the pastor. Very controlling almost evil.

    We went to the graduation of one of the nephews he was almost treated as a black sheep. Later I found out why. My mother was raising yes another Atheist and she didn't know it. He and I had a long talk letting him know I totally understood because I was there at one time. If he needed someone to talk to I was always available.

    As to the damage that has happened to him. Well his education level as a graduate of a christian school is so low the Army will not accept him as a foot soldier. He can not pass the ASVAB test. He so badly wants to go to the Army. Sadly enough partly to get out of the environment that he is in. Partly of course they have some really interesting toys.

    I hopefully have come up with a few alternatives for him and we are looking into them. I need to watch the other nephew as well. Hopefully I can help in the future sooner than I was able to with the first.

    As to slamming religion... I say give em HELL. Our future generations are at stake.

    Rich you are a special inspiration. Thanks for all that you do and get well. It seems I have a lot of work ahead of me.

    Take care

  4. Good to hear that things are improving. I really appreciate your willingness to share your struggle. It is an inspiration to the rest of out here who are fighting the same fight.

    As for religion, slam away. It is the scource of a great deal of misery and serious scars like this that some of us have to deal with for the rest of our lives.

    Thanks again and get well

  5. Hope you are getting better Rich.
    It feels like you have been away for ages.
    Going thru some bad nights myself with PTSD and it helps to know that there is at least 1 other person in the world that is real and going through it.
    I know i will come out of it but I dont know when.
    I hope your dark days are over as soon as possible.
    It's always an uphill walk, but its not always this steep.
    Take care. Eat ice-cream. Laugh.

  6. Hope you get better soon! You are both doing a great job! But as already been stated above, no rush.

    I wish I could have been listening to your podcast a decade ago, when my deconversion process began. You are great!

    With best regards,
    Henrik Svensson

  7. Take care of yourself Rich and thanks to you and Deanna for the compassionate and important work you do. Wishing you health and happiness!

  8. Dear Rich,
    Wishing you improved health quickly.
    Miss your podcast and looking forward to hearing
    your voice again (in good time). Take care and
    look after yourself.